Times they are a'changing

Here I am!  Feeling like my old self again, with some minor adjustments, of course.  Things have been quite hectic, hence the lack of blog posts.  I think about writing every day but actually getting (making) the time to do so requires some effort.  I'm not going to lie, I like to lay in bed every night with my boo-bear and watch Breaking Bad on Netflix or illegal downloads of Dexter.  But the boo-bear isn't here tonight so my pre-sleepytime activity is this.

Where to start...

School.  Oh yeah, that plan is taking a bit of a turn for the lengthy.  My problem is that I screwed around when I went to college straight out of high school and ended up with a (as it turns out) less than desirable GPA.  I have been doing well since returning but that "overall" GPA is keeping me from being eligible to even apply to the college of nursing this year.  I had to write a letter to the admissions committee asking them to waive the overall GPA requirement.  They denied it.  They want to see how I finish up this year and then I am to apply for the same waiver again next year (so even next year isn't a guarantee).  It sucks but I have learned that everything happens for a reason.

My plan for next summer is to go to a local "trade" school, if you will, and become a nurse technician.  That way I can at least get some experience under my belt and make some extra cash, not to mention, utilize my time... until I can find a way into a nursing school somewhere (preferably here, obviously).  Actually, it has to be here because I'm not moving.

Oh, speaking of moving... I am house hunting now, too.  I am ready to be on my own.  Well, I wont' be completely on my own.  I know single mothers do it all the time but I don't see why I would live alone when I have a perfectly great boyfriend with whom to live.  :)  That might sound a little crazy to some but remember, this is someone who I considered to be a good friend for a very long time; my husband's best friend no less... someone who was there for me and the kids - to help fill that void that was left after Matt died.  Noah's Godfather... an amazing man who keeps me laughing all the time... at this point in my life... after having been married once already... on the wrong side of 25 (that's just a joke)... I know what I want in a man and he is it.  I am extremely lucky.

So it's time.  I started house hunting last Friday and it went well.  We have zeroed in on one particular house that we really really like with a superb floorplan in a beautiful neighborhood... and I'm paranoid that it's going to sell before our second showing on Wednesday.  :-/  I try not to get too excited over it.

Running.  It has been treating me very well.  In fact, I ran my first half marathon today; the halfie that I've been training for since March!  My sister-in-law and I ran it together (it was her idea to begin with) and we finished 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 17 seconds.  It felt very rewarding to cross that finish line knowing that that moment symbolized everything I had gone through in the last 15 months.  All the pain, all the heartache, all the unwelcome change... running was a great outlet during my healing process.  And this is what it has become - such a feeling of victory and accomplishment!  All from a little 13 mile run.

We ran the halfie carrying roses for Matthew with the intention of putting them on his grave but I kind of forgot about that last part today.  But the important part was carried out!  We knew he was there with us, cheering us on, when we heard a Michael Jackson song come on at one of the aid stations between miles 9 and 10.

Life is good.

Our family has been ripped apart

Matt was killed in a car accident on July 20. I started a new blog at day-three.blogspot.com.

Chloe Rolls, Noah Poops

On July 11, 2011, Chloe rolled all by herself from back to belly for the first time. She was three months and 10 days old. I just saw it for the first time myself a couple days ago, lol. But her teachers informed me of this accomplishment the day it happened. Yay for Chloe! Now, I can barely lay her down all the way before she starts to roll over. She is all about it. But then she gets mad so I have to pick her up or roll her back.

Last night, Noah started taking off his diaper and saying "boop" (that's "poop"). So I brought him to the toilet and he sat right on there and had a nice conversation with me, which primarily consisted of the words "boop", "potty" and "uh oh". And guess what? He went poop! And he also wanted to tear off a bunch of toilet paper and put that into the toilet while he was doing so. I had to stop him after the second time for fear of a massive clog but he proceeded to tear off little tiny bits while I held the roll in place. But I was very proud of him! So good job, Noah! Over the weekend, he took off his diaper and peed on the living room floor because I was preoccupied with Chloe and no one else felt like doing anything. Slackers.

I love it when I'm expected to be in two different places doing two different things at the same time.

Speaking of which, Matt is leaving me in August for a WHOLE EFFING WEEK. WTF. I am going... to die.

I think we are heading up to Michigan on September 2. We will go straight up to Crystal Lake for a couple days and then head down to Grand Rapids and then leave on the 10th. Those are the plans for now. And we are hoping to have Chloe baptized while we are up there, too. We'll see! I guess we could have a joint birthday/baptism party for both of them. :)

what's all the fuss about?

That's what I originally thought about Aden + Anais swaddling blankets. Then someone mentioned how nice they were to use as nursing covers in the hot weather. So... Baby Steals had some up for grabs for cheap so I ordered one. Holy amazing. First of all, these blankets are gigantic. And they really are so light and breathable. It just makes me want a slingified woven wrap that much more! I don't love the idea of wearing Chloe in any of my carriers outside because it gets so hot but they are all I have! So a choice we have not. Someday. Anyway, I used my AA outside at the park last weekend to nurse her and it was perfect. Now, I just need to perfect my nursing in public skills because it is quite awkward to nurse without my Boppy, lol. I rely on that thing too much! I may have flashed a bit of boob. Hopefully no one was looking. Oh well if they were.

I find that a common question these days is, "How long will you breastfeed?" I just say... I really don't know, lol. I guess as long as everything is working out fine, I see no reason to put a deadline on it, you know? I'm not going to count on making it a whole year right now just because I learned from my last experience that smaller goals are best. I am just happy each day I continue to be able to breastfeed. If I do make it to a year and even longer... then awesome! The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding exclusively for the first six months and then continuing to two years or more with the addition of solid foods.

Anyway, it was flooding downtown after work yesterday. That was pretty cray-cray. I had to turn around and take a very long detour to the daycare. And today, when I went to nurse Chloe on my lunch break, she decided she would just take a nap instead. So that means her extra 2-ounce emergency bottle will most certainly be used since her second bottle would have been given a lot earlier than if she had nursed. I hope she is not ravenous when I pick her up but she probably will be!

2-month checkup.

It is so amazing to look at Chloe, look at how much she has grown and know that every bit of that has come directly from me! Not only did I grow her inside my belly for nine months but I continue to provide 100% of her nourishment and keep her growing. :) Duh... that's what breastfeeding is but I guess I never thought of it that way before. It is sooo awesome. I'm still sad I missed out on this experience with Noah but at least I get to experience it once in my life... if not again in the future. :D


So, needless to say, her 2-month checkup went great. She is 12 lbs, 12 oz! And 23 inches long. I felt so bad that she was all smiley and happy... yet, little did she know, she was about to get three injections in her thighs. :( So she totally freaked out as soon as she received that first poke... she let out a heartbreaking cry for a second but as soon as I scooped her up, it was like she flipped the switch and stopped immediately. I nursed her and then we left. She was sleeping when I dropped her back off at daycare.


Pumping has been going... just okay. Let me tell ya, it's definitely not my preferred method of milk removal, lol. I have to work my butt off to get enough milk for Chloe's bottles the next day. I make 12 ounces: Two five-ounce bottles and one two-ounce bottle just in case she's extra hungry (but that bottle is not always used up). I have to pump at least four times a day to get that. I pump twice at work and as much as I can at home until I have enough. I'm more thankful every day that I am close enough to go nurse her on my lunch break! Somehow, today I managed to go over by three ounces so I have three extra ounces in the fridge right now. :) That's a good feeling! I think I hit that point where my supply regulates itself based on whatever Chloe takes. So, instead of that nice, hormone-driven "oversupply", so to speak, I'm just producing what she needs. And, of course, the pump is not nearly as efficient as the baby so I don't expect to get as much as I was getting when I pumped my first week back at work. Oh, well... all the hard work is definitely worth it. And if I do have to pull out some formula to mix into breast milk one day, oh well. It's not the end of the world. But I'm going to try to avoid that. :)

This morning, however, I discovered leaked through my shirt for the first time, lol! Chloe didn't eat at all from my left side all night long so I guess that's to be expected. She woke up once to eat at 4:00 so I brought her to bed (she had fallen asleep in her swing) and fed her from my right side. I obviously was too tired to think straight and just fell asleep without switching sides. I thought about it but I just couldn't do it, lol. Plus, she fell asleep, too, and I didn't want to wake her. At least it didn't result in a plugged duct! I've had like four of those now and they hurt! I just pumped first thing this morning to relieve the pressure and got an extra ounce and a half. :)


I kept Noah home sick on Monday. He had a fever early that morning but then it was gone when I checked him again at 8:30. What the heck? Okay... so after his more-demonic-than-usual-meltdowns and congestion, we thought, "Oh... no. Two year molars." It is about that time, after all. So... we're bracing ourselves. This is the big daddy of teething woes and, with all the trouble Noah has with his teeth coming in, we know this is definitely going to be the grand finale. In a not-so-fun way. I will keep you posted on that news front, internet world. But maybe it will turn out to be uneventful (yeah right).

Where do I begin? I don't know... I feel like my brain has melted in the last couple of weeks. Life is a whirlwind right now. It's rare that I have a few minutes to just sit and relax without a kid attached to me. :P But that *did* happen on Monday. Matt and Noah fell asleep on the couch and Chloe slept in her swing. So I had a few free minutes and it was amazing! And thank God for Fridays. Those are the days where I either leave at about 3:00 or 12:00 and it's really the only guaranteed "me" time I get. Of course, that is spent working on the house but at least I can do it without being interrupted. :D

This week my morning pumping output has been less than impressive. So this morning I tried double pumping instead of single and it gave me two more ounces! I ended up with 6 oz rather than 4 oz and Chloe eats 5 oz for her morning bottle so that's perfect. I also ate oatmeal when I got to work, which is said to help increase milk production. If I could get that much again this afternoon, that would be awesome but I'm happy with 4 oz for my afternoon sesh. At least I'm ahead 1 oz for today. :) I hope I don't have to pull from my freezer stash again tonight!

I'm also going to add in a short pumping session when I get home from work since I make a small bottle for Chloe to eat right before I pick her up from daycare. Only about 2-3 oz or so. I think I'm actually going to keep that one at 2 oz from now on. Just enough to hold her over until we get home. Then I can finish her feeding at home and pump afterwards or pump first thing if she seems satisfied.

Anyway, I bought June Christmas presents yesterday. :) I got some wooden M&D marionettes for Noah (a prince and a horse) and some Babylegs socks and leg warmers for Chloe... I just couldn't resist even though I'm trying to refrain from buying her more clothes, lol. Oh well. It's not like she'll know; she'll be 9 months old.

It looks like my mom will be paying us a visit on July 7! An extra pair of hands, yayyy, lol.

Brrrr....

It is COLD in this office today! But that's better than being sweltering hot... which is the norm, lol. Yes, I am back to work. My first day was last Wednesday. It has been going quite well. Chloe has adapted to daycare just fine it seems. She takes the bottle well. The only thing I had to change was the nipples. I increased it to a medium flow because the latex slow-flow nipples just made it take her forever to finish a bottle. That was probably part of the issue at home, too. So now she is on the silicone medium-flow ones. Anyway, she was sleeping when I dropped her off this morning so that made my job easy. I have been going to nurse her on my lunch break every day around 12:00 or so. That has been going well. And pumping has also been going well; I am getting great output! More than she eats so far so then I have a little extra if I need it.

We got a babysitter on Saturday night so Matt and I could go enjoy a nice dinner at Wasabi 88. Which is REALLY yummy! It might be my new favorite place for Japanese. But I still have love for Japan Inn. After that we went over to Coldstone. And then we stopped by Best Buy so that I could have my phone looked at, lol. Now we run errands on dates, too.

I am still in the process of painting Noah's room... have been for the past month, lol. I should be able to finish this Friday though since it is my half day. Fingers crossed! Although even if I finish I will probably still need another coat of brown. Curse that. I hate painting. And yet I still do it for the sake of cuteness in Noah's room. I can't wait until it's all finished but it will be a while because now we are on a strict budget, lol. So I will have to buy piece by piece each month. :P Hopefully by Christmas it's done! I still need new crib sheets, wall decals, floating shelves, art and changing pad covers.

Noah's bedtime has been all sorts of messed up. Well, he goes to bed perfectly whenever we have a sitter. But when we're home, he cries and whines for hours and then just ends up falling asleep on the couch with Matt. :/ And this morning he also decided to wake up at 5:00... so of course, he fell asleep on the way to daycare, lol. Matt takes him to daycare now and I take Chloe. But I have to do drop-off and pick-up for both on Thursday because Matt has a seminar thing at 5:00. That is going to be interesting.

That's pretty much all that has been going on lately. Home projects, toddler craziness and back to work. It's our new normal!